I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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