He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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