some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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