Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
