Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
