He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i came on her dog
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
