Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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