see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
