He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
