Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
