So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
