so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I sprained my soul last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
