someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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