To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
