Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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