fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
