So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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