i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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