when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it hurts more in the daytime
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All I want is dick and wine.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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