Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
