i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
