Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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