That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
