I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
