I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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