He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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