If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You left your phone here
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