: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
