A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
