lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
