You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
