If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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