I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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