Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
