I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
