Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
