Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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