those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
