Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
