it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
