problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
