He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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