Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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