her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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