Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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