I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
