i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
