youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
