I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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