oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Boobs are out for the taking
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
