I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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