winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
